post launch depression
no one told me about the post Launch Depression.
apparently it's fairly common for authors to feel in the weeks that follow publication.
nothing but emptiness after years and years of focus and energy centered on one ultimate milestone of berthing your creation to the world.
I remember feeling the same numbness after doing an Ironman. months and months on a defined mission with a challenging goal only to cross the finish line and ask, "was that IT?"
but perhaps the biggest realization, and the one that hurts the most, is that I've lost the one thing that has been so successful in distracting me from the loss I was reeling from in the first place.
I've lost the time spent with my pen-journal-computer-companion that I used to fill the gaps in my cracked soul.
two-and-a-half years of purposeful time spent alone meticulously crafting flowing sentences reliving my most painful and most beautiful moments.
where once I had a cool excuse to work every evening and weekend, now I have returned to face the one thing I dreaded the most when this nightmare first unraveled: Loneliness.
for those feeling anxious about entering the dark months all alone;
for those experiencing loss for the first or thousandth time;
for those wondering how TF they're going to get up tomorrow to face another day sitting alone with their demons;
I feel you.
nothing I can say can lesson the burden that you carry, but just know that I feel you, and it hurts.
all I can offer is the very simple process that I use.
it is these two things:
1. Keep Going
2. know that, with every loss comes the opportunity to welcome in something new
I Love You